Right now working out is saving my life.
Now that may sound a little dramatic and you’re right, it probably is, but to me that’s how it feels.
I might get a little personal and sappy in the blog, so this is your warning.
I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Recently I was talking with someone and they asked about everything that I have on my plate right now, so I went off. At the end they said, “wow, you have a lot going on.”
There’s the obvious, I own a business. Let me tell you, owning a business is nothing short of stress, but if I’m being really honest, I wouldn’t trade this stress for the stress of a 9-5, EVER.
I also have a 3 year old. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but no one talks about having a threenager. Sometimes it’s like having a tiny irrational dictator in your home, and I’ve never ruined someone’s day worse than making my toddler take a bath and then ALSO ruin it again by making him get out. I don’t blame him, it’s all age appropriate, but damn it, that doesn’t make it any easier.
BUT WAIT… THERE’S MORE!!
As if those two things weren’t enough, we recently bought a new house. While the actual closing wasn’t hard or a ton of work, moving was a whole different story. 66,000 steps and 138 floors over three days as we moved everything out of our previous two-story home to a new two-story home. And of course, we then decided to renovate parts of the new house. Like ripping out carpet, installing new hardwood floors, and painting. If you want to test your marriage, try painting a room together.
Now the last one, and here’s where I get a little personal. Some of you know this, many of you do not. My dad was recently diagnosed with vascular dementia and it all happened pretty fast. It started in the fall of last year and has escalated to the point where we have had to move him into an assisted living facility. This means that I am now in charge of his care and his estate. If you’ve never had to take care of the affairs of a parent, who you haven’t been close with for the last 10 years, let me tell you, it’s no small feat. There are a lot of phone calls and a lot of meetings, not to mention the general care and handling of an aging parent who doesn’t quite understand what’s happening.
I don’t go into any of this for sympathy or pity, I simply want to set the stage.
After I was done talking to this person about everything I have going on, and after they reiterated to me that, yes, in fact I do have a lot going on, they asked a simple question…
“What are you doing to help you handle all of this stress?”
I was completely taken aback by the question. My first thought was, “I don’t know, I’m just handling it.”
But instead of saying that I stopped and really thought about it. I thought back to the moments over the last weeks where I was able to really unwind, where I could process everything that’s happening, little moments that I really looked forward to.
And one thing kept coming up.
Exercise!
The moments in the studio, where I get to jam out to some tunes, push everything out, and just be in the moment. The moments where I don’t have to think about the laundry list of things I need to do for my dad, or the difficult conversation I have to have, or what my 3 year old is going to be like when I pick him up from school.
Those moments where I feel like somethings going to break, something has to give, I get a workout in, and I am reenergized, refocused, and ready to get shit done.
Honestly I didn’t realize how much I had been using my workouts to help deal with my stress. I didn’t realize that working out is literally saving me right now.
I’m not quite sure how to end this, which is unusual for me. There is no happy ending, right now. These are all things that are still on-going. I could sit here and say, “if you’re dealing with stress, come try a workout”, but that doesn’t feel right. I guess I just wanted to share my story, for a few reasons. First, I’m sure a lot of you can relate, and you should know you’re not alone, and mental health isn’t something enough people are talking about.
I guess I’ll just end with, if you’re currently under a lot of stress, please make sure you’re doing something, whatever it is, to help you deal with it.